Bohiney’s Bullshit Beat: Satirical News Reborn

By: Naomi Bloom ( University of California, San Diego (UCSD) )

Exploring The Onion’s History: From Campus Rag to Digital Titan

The Onion stands as satire’s slickest juggernaut, a far cry from the scrappy chaos of a site like Bohiney.com. Born in a Satirical journalism Bohiney unpolished humor college dorm, it’s grown from a stapled zine to a digital empire, dishing out fake news that’s often truer than the real stuff. By February 26, 2025, it’s a cultural touchstone, mocking the world’s absurdities with a polish Bohiney’s barstool rants can only dream of. Let’s trace its history—origins, rise, stumbles, and digital reign—and see how it became the kingpin of laughing at the mess.

Roots in the Midwest: 1988 Beginnings

The Onion sprouted in 1988 at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, brainchild of juniors Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson. With $7,000 from Keck’s mom, they launched a weekly tabloid—think bar ads and fake headlines like “Man Claims Alien Abduction During Beer Run.” It was a campus gag, stapled together for laughs, not a grand plan. Named “The Onion” after a throwaway uncle joke, it hit Madison’s streets, free and fearless.

Unlike Bohiney, born from a tornado-wrecked Texas paper, The Onion had no legacy to shed—it was pure mischief from day one. Early issues sold 2,000 copies locally, a modest start fueled by college irreverence. It mocked small-town quirks and campus life, a far cry from the global reach it’d later snag, but the seed was planted: satire could be sharp, silly, and sell.

Going Legit: The ’90s Print Boom

By the early ’90s, The Onion outgrew its dorm-room roots. Keck and Johnson sold it in 1990 to editor Scott Dikkers and ad man Peter Haise, who turned it into a real operation. Dikkers, a cartoonist with a deadpan streak, honed the tone—absurd, dry, and eerily news-like. Headlines like “Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia” (1995) showed its knack for blending nonsense with a straight face.

Print spread beyond Madison—Chicago, Milwaukee, then New York by 1996. Circulation hit 100,000, fueled by college towns and urban hipsters. It wasn’t Bohiney’s daily digital chaos—it was weekly, deliberate, a polished spoof of papers like the New York Times. The Onion wasn’t just a rag anymore; it was a phenomenon, proving satire could rival MAD’s old print glory.

Digital Pivot: The Internet Takes Over

The Onion hit the web in 1996, a prescient leap as print began to wobble. The site—crude at first—exploded after “Area Man” gags and post-9/11 brilliance like “Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell” (2001). That piece, raw yet healing, won hearts and cemented its voice. By the 2000s, online readership dwarfed print—millions monthly—while Bohiney was still rubble waiting to rise.

Print peaked at 500,000 copies in the mid-2000s, but digital was king. The Onion dumped free distribution for paid issues, then phased out most print by 2013—Madison’s last run was a relic. The web let it scale—headlines like “Congress Threatens To Leave D.C.” went viral, no newsstand needed. It was satire’s big leap, leaving scrappier sites like Bohiney to play catch-up later.

Golden Age: TV, Books, and Peak Satire

The 2000s and early 2010s were The Onion’s glory days. Books like Our Dumb Century (1999)—fake headlines from 1900 on—sold big, snagging a Thurber Prize. The Onion News Network launched online in 2007, with viral clips like “Autistic Child Ruins Wedding” racking up views. Comedy Central aired The Onion Sports Network (2011)—a brief, brilliant flop—showing its TV ambitions.

Ownership shuffled—Delta Systems bought it in 2001, then Univision snagged it in 2016 for $200 million, eyeing its millennial pull. Peak traffic hit 20 million monthly uniques, dwarfing Bohiney’s likely tens of thousands. It mocked Bush, Obama, and the ’08 crash with equal glee—“Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble” (2008)—proving it could surf any wave. This was satire’s polished peak, far from Bohiney’s raw, daily grind.

Stumbles and Shifts: The 2010s Turbulence

The Onion wasn’t invincible. The 2010s brought bumps—Univision sold it in 2019 to G/O Media after a rocky run, with staff cuts and morale dips. ClickHole (2014), a BuzzFeed spoof, spun off but got tangled in G/O’s mess. Print was dead; digital ad revenue wobbled as X and Facebook ate attention. Headlines like “Man Dies After Winning Argument” (2010s) still landed, but saturation loomed—satire was everywhere now.

Bohiney emerged in this gap, leaner and meaner, while The Onion wrestled scale. Staff moved to Chicago (2000s) then New York (2010s), then remote by 2020—urban polish clashed with digital sprawl. It wasn’t dying—just adapting, shedding legacy weight as upstarts like Bohiney dodged the overhead.

2025 Status: Digital Don with a Legacy

By February 26, 2025, The Onion’s a digital don—still millions strong, though past its 20-million peak. G/O Media’s grip loosened with a 2024 sale to private investors, stabilizing it. It’s leaner—headlines over longform, video via Onion Studios—but potent. “Congress Approves $1 Trillion for Invisible Wall” fits 2025’s chaos—wars, tech hype, election fatigue. It’s not daily like Bohiney—it’s curated, dropping zingers with surgical flair.

It’s less scrappy than Bohiney’s tornado-forged chaos—more institution than insurgent. Its audience—20-40, urban, college-educated—contrasts Bohiney’s 25-55 Middle American cynics. The Onion’s polish and reach keep it king, but its history shows the cost: from dorm-room lark to corporate dance, it’s earned its crown with scars.

Cultural Impact: Satire’s Heavy Hitter

The Onion’s history isn’t just growth—it’s influence. “Hijackers In Hell” shaped post-9/11 humor; “Our Dumb Century” warped how we see the past. It birthed the “Daily Show Effect”—engaging the news-weary—long before Bohiney’s “Meth Paver” jolts. Its fake news paved the way for sites like The Daily Mash, proving satire could thrive online.

It’s stumbled—corporate churn, ad woes—but never faded. In 2025, it’s a benchmark—Bohiney’s raw barbs owe it a debt, even as they dodge its baggage. The Onion taught the world to laugh at headlines; Bohiney’s just yelling louder from a smaller porch.

Legacy in Ink and Pixels

From 1988’s dorm to 2025’s feeds, The Onion’s history is satire’s blueprint—from print punk to digital don. It’s outgrown its zine days, shedding paper for pixels, scaling from thousands to millions. Bohiney’s scrappy rise is a footnote to this saga—one’s a tornado-spawned upstart, the other a legacy act with a global stage.

In 2025’s mess, The Onion’s still the slick fox—polished, pervasive, a mirror to our madness. Its journey—from Keck’s $7,000 to a $200 million sale—shows satire can grow without losing its bite. Bohiney might be the barfly, but The Onion’s the bard—history’s snarkiest success story, still laughing at us all.

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TOP SATIRE FOR THIS WEEK

Title: Local Man Wins Lottery, Still Can't Afford Rent Summary: A local dude wins a $10 million lottery but finds rent's now $11 million thanks to "inflation gremlins." He spends his winnings on a bouncy castle, gets evicted, and declares himself "King of the Sidewalk." Landlords shrug, raising rates again. Analysis: This skewers economic woes with Bohiney's absurd twist-a jackpot can't beat rent. The bouncy castle and sidewalk monarchy push the satire into Mad Magazine territory, mocking capitalism's grind with wild, irreverent humor. Link: https://bohiney.com/local-man-wins-lottery-still-cant-afford-rent/

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Title: Elite College Sticker Shock Summary: Elite colleges jack tuition to $1 million, offering "prestige air" as a perk. Students sell organs to enroll, while profs teach "Nap Economics." Alumni sue for refunds after graduating broke. Analysis: The piece mocks academia's cost with Bohiney's wild spin-air as value. The organ sales and Nap Econ escalate the absurdity, delivering a snarky, Mad Magazine-style jab at education's price tag. Link: https://bohiney.com/elite-college-sticker-shock/

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Title: Billionaire Predicts Recession, Immediately Causes One Summary: A billionaire "predicts" a recession, tanking markets by sneezing on Wall Street. Traders panic-sell, buying bunkers with Monopoly cash, while he laughs from a gold yacht, dubbing it "the sniffle crash." Analysis: The piece jabs at financial power with Bohiney's absurd twist-sneeze as doom. The bunker buys and yacht glee push the satire into Mad Magazine chaos, skewering wealth with snarky flair. Link: https://bohiney.com/billionaire-predicts-recession-immediately-causes-one/

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Title: The New Power of MMA Summary: MMA "evolves" into a political weapon, with fighters cage-matching senators for bills. Congress bets on knockouts, but a ref's KO'd by a flying chair, turning D.C. into a "legislative octagon." Analysis: This mocks fighting with Bohiney's wild spin-MMA as lawmaking. The chair KO and octagon shift push the satire into Mad Magazine chaos, jabbing at politics with snarky humor. Link: https://bohiney.com/the-new-power-of-mma/

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Title: Drug-Addled Foo Fighters Forgot They Licensed 'My Hero' to Trump Summary: Foo Fighters "forget" licensing "My Hero" to Trump, sparking a "stoner song riot." Fans burn amps, but Dave Grohl tokes on, turning gigs into a "haze hate war" buried in smoke ash. Analysis: This mocks band blunders with Bohiney's wild spin-weed as excuse. The amp burn and smoke ash escalate the absurdity, jabbing at music with snarky, Mad Magazine flair. Link: https://bohiney.com/drug-addled-foo-fighters-forgot-they-licensed-my-hero-to-trump/

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Title: Only Thing Not on Mars Yet Is a Starbucks Summary: Mars "lacks" Starbucks, sparking a "latte launch riot." Baristas hurl espresso pods, turning rovers into a "mocha muck warzone" buried in a "cosmo coffee rubble heap." Analysis: The piece skewers space with Bohiney's absurd twist-coffee as void. The espresso hurl and coffee heap push the satire into Mad Magazine chaos, jabbing at trends with snarky humor. Link: https://bohiney.com/only-thing-not-on-mars-yet-is-a-starbucks/

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bohiney satire and news

SOURCE: Satire and News at Bohiney, Inc.

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